Monthly Archives: November 2018

Are you Ready for Choices & Decisions?

“The 3 C’s of Life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.”

“Here you go again talking about choices,” I hear you saying. Everything we do is a choice whether it is conscious or not. Whether to have that cup of coffee even though you know you’ve had enough, what to wear in the morning, and so it goes on. Often we make choices subconsciously. Things that have become habitual, that you give no thought to because you’ve always done something a certain way, are beneath the conscious radar. These things happen by default rather than by design or choice.  If you were to look at a normal working day, how much would you estimate is being done on auto pilot? Do you have the same breakfast every day, or do you consciously choose to mix it up a bit? Do you hop into the car at roughly the same time & drive the same route? These sorts of things area ok to do without worrying about them too much but what else in your day could you change?

Do you need to take some chances on trying something new? It doesn’t have to be major, it could be as simple as deciding to watch ½ hour less TV tonight and read a good book or actually talk to your spouse about something meaningful. It could be to find out how you could start an exercise regime to feel better about yourself. It could be to eat differently at lunchtime. What chances have you got to step out and do something differently TODAY that will make changes in your future life? Remember that every second of the day is the beginning of the rest of your life. Every second, every decision will impact your future. So what would you like to change now that will impact your future in the way you would like?

Enjoy being mindful of your choices!

Are You Happy to Take Your Happy Medicine?

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”  Dr Seuss

Even if you don’t actually laugh at the rhymes of Dr Seuss it’s hard not to feel that lightness in our energy as we follow along with his quirky sense of humour.  I recently had to produce a ‘Tall Tale,’ for toastmasters and I realised how serious I must be.  I found it quite difficult to tell lies as I saw it.  I agreed to be involved because I believed it would be good for me.  Often we can open up to the ‘fun’ side of ourselves when we interact with children.  I wonder why we don’t do that with adults.  I read once that 4 year old children laugh 400 times a day whereas we adults can only crack out 15 times a day. Why is this I wonder!

Too busy, must do this or that before we can relax at lunchtime, after work, the weekend.  You get the picture.  Life has to be serious, we have to worry our way through life, don’t we?  I mean what would happen in the future if we didn’t worry about what might happen and therefore hopefully avert whatever it is. Do you feel you would be judged as an airhead or something similar if you were to bring lightness to your day – and everyone else’s around you I might add?  Just think what it would do to our energy and therefore our physiology if we were to bring some lightness to our current situation.  Imagine what ideas might come to light to solve your present problems if your brain’s cells got woken up with some fun and nonsense!

Enjoy walking on the light side.

Are You and Employer or Employee?

“I failed in some subjects in exams, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.”   Bill Gates

We are constantly being told to follow our dreams. For some people that doesn’t mean sitting exams and getting good marks. However if Bill’s friend wanted to be an engineer, loved the learning process and did well, then his path is obviously meant to be, ‘down the study and get qualifications path.’ I’m sure there are others who follow their passion to be an engineer but take a different route learning through the experience of a job and gaining respect for what they achieve that way. What this story tells me though, is that if I want to do something then I can just get off my butt, follow my dream and I will get there.

The big catch that I have talked about in the past, is, believing that I can achieve my desires. I just watched the movie, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” last night and was captivated by Freddie Mercury’s will to get where he wanted to go, no matter what. He certainly believed that he had what it took to woo the audience to love him and his music. Despite that, there was an undercurrent of the story about his relationship with his father and how desperately he wanted to prove to his father that he was trying to live up to the values that his father had instilled in him. Like a lot of things, that came at a price, until right at the end of the movie, he connected with his father and we got the feeling that all was forgiven. I’ve gone off track here a bit. School exams wouldn’t have necessarily made Freddie a better singer.

Enjoy following your dream and achieving what it is you are here to do!

Are You Selfish or Selfless

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in; their true beauty is revealed only if their light is from within.  Elizabeth Kubler Ross

My 96 year old mother recently died and we held the celebration of her life ‘service’ over the weekend. In preparation for this I was searching through quotes and poems that spoke to me about what I felt my mother represented. This was one that I kept aside, but decided in the end, to use a couple of longer poems. It can be easy to be positive and easy to get along with when things are going well, when the stress levels are lower. This is because the chemicals in our brain that relate to positivity, connection and empathy are being released. However it can be a different story once the stress centre of our brain is stimulated to release the chemicals that shut down the part that is good at connecting with other people or seeing the bigger picture.

My Mum was brought up in a time and a household where it was stressed that we live a life putting others before ourselves, and she did this to the end of her life, even in the rest home offering us and the carers a cuppa when she was offered one. Her life revolved around seeing to our needs, the needs of the grandchildren and subsequently great-grandchildren. Those caring habits of a lifetime shone through even when she was in the darkness of dying. This habit of giving first is gaining a lot more recognition again these days. There is a chemistry to giving in both the giver and the receiver that has been measured to improve our physiology, which in turn makes us feel better about ourselves as the giver. However I have concerns, a belief, that in the joy of giving, in the addiction of feeling good, in the putting of others first, that we don’t devalue ourselves. I have clients who decided at a very young age that to be loved or appreciated they had to be selfless and in the process don’t love or appreciate themselves. We have to work through the shadow of being ‘selfish.’ We all have a part of us that can be selfish and if we acknowledge that part and love it because it allows us to do some things that may also impact others as well as ourselves in a positive way. So where in your life are you being selfless or selfish and can you let your light shine in both places?

Enjoy experiencing both ends of the spectrum!