Monthly Archives: June 2019

Is Forgiving Someone Overrated?

“Forgiveness is not always easy.  At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it.  And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.”  Marianne Williamson

I belong to a group of senior entrepreneurs. Last week we were talking about this very thing. One of our members had been biking some years ago when some little old lady drove into him. He was pretty badly beaten up and as he was headed to the hospital in the ambulance he had a choice to harbor a grudge or forgive her. Sometimes I think we can forgive after some time has passed and we’re tired of the pain we are suffering from holding on to the negative thoughts. But this guy made the decision to forgive her then and there, let go of the blame for causing all his fractures and concussion.

He still has one leg that doesn’t work that well but in making the decision to forgive her, he allowed the maximum healing to take place with the highest vibration he had. He had to change his career and what has developed has given him his raison d’etre. He is enjoying his change in direction. As Marianne Williamson says in this quote, if we don’t forgive, we continue to feel a vibration that doesn’t feel good, so there is no peace. Looking at this I immediately thought of the forgiveness for others, but sometimes we do something that we have trouble forgiving ourselves. So this rule applies to the person inside your earth suit. Until we can forgive ourselves for something we have been conditioned to believe is not OK, there can be a lot of negative emotions like blame and shame. While in this state our hearts are not beating with coherence and we open ourselves up to disease.

Enjoy forgiving yourself and others!!

Do You Believe That the Sun is Always Shining?

“Life has its seasons…..and regardless of the season, the sun always shines.”  Melissa Malueg

I know this could sound a bit like Polyanna and for some reason she seems to have a bad rap these days. Somehow it’s not seen as though it’s authentic if you are always putting a brave face on everything. Some of this could be because so many of us grumble & moan about our lot in life. Although we don’t like the word ‘victim,’ when we are allowing things outside of us to take the blame for what is going wrong in our life, we are effectively putting on the victim’s hat. We can all feel this from time to time, but to live from that perspective means that we very rarely see the sun shine. We don’t see the good things that are happening in our lives.

Any of us who have been up in a plane know that once we get above the clouds the sun is indeed shining up there (as long as it is daylight). I have a couple of smiley sun images around me at home to remind me of just this very fact. To remind me to have faith that just because I can’t see something with my physical sight doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. I need to remind myself of this when I’m going after a goal, to remind myself that just because I thought I should have achieved my result by NOW, doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. I need to remind myself that even grumbling to myself, is not going to open me up to the opportunities that are there all the time like the sun. I just have to be open to the possibilities and I’ll see the sun wherever I look. The part of the brain that is looking for these opportunities to prove I’m right will find them, so the more belief I have that the good things will happen, the more they do.

Enjoy being open to the good!

Are You Comfortable with Change?

“If you don’t like where you are, change it, you are not a tree.”   Jim Rohn

I have always liked the simplicity of Jim Rohn’s pearls that he peppered throughout his presentations, his CDs etc. Not all his own of course but to the point, never-the-less. All our thoughts create feelings and whether those feelings are of pain or pleasure will initiate an activity that will push us away from the pain or pull us towards the pleasure. Just knowing this fact is not enough. We have to be aware of what we are feeling to begin to notice what our thoughts are. Only by changing those thoughts are we able to change our circumstances. I teach my clients to do a tune in, which is like a short meditation that can become as short as a breath or 2 as we scan the body for what we are feeling physically and emotionally. If we don’t like what we are feeling then as humans we have the ability to change.

This is a form of mindfulness which is gaining a lot of traction because of the thousands of studies that have been done that prove its worth. Schools are incorporating mindfulness into their daily timetable. I follow the work of Mark Waldman, a neuroscientist. He is regularly talking about the power of yawning as a mindfulness technique. He cites academic studies suggesting that yawning plays a key role in arousal, stress reduction, pain regulation and possibly empathetic communication with others. This is one very small change you can make to your daily timetable, and keep up with what your children may be learning at school to calm them down. Mark suggests once every 20 min stretch and yawn – you could set your computer or phone…. to remind you.

Enjoy making this small change in your life!

Is it Going to be Discipline or Regret?

“There is a saying, that decision & discipline weigh ounces; regret weighs tons.  Whatever decision you can make that seems right to you today – use just a little bit of discipline to bring it about.”

Oh boy this is a good one for me today as I reflect on some of the decisions I have made that don’t necessarily show a lot of discipline. I love my food & I don’t always eat what I know I should, I……. This could have been a very negative email as I realistically look at what I do and don’t do. Am I not meant to be the coach with all the answers blazing my trail, guiding my readers to be bigger and better? I am human with frailties like everyone else. We all have the shadows I have talked about, that hijack our stress response and cause us to do things we may regret later.

But if we can all have the intention to be disciplined as much as we can each day, we will day by day reach a point where we feel good about ourselves more often, because we have shown some discipline and therefore have less regrets. What is it you would like to have some discipline around today? Choose one thing and be conscious about noticing when you are straying to habitual behaviours that you don’t like or are not proud of. Look into why that is. Is it because of something one of the family ‘committee’ said years ago when you were little? Examine that and check whether that is something you need to adhere to now in 2019 when you are an adult. Keep choosing that one thing until you feel you can accept that in yourself and then you may find you aren’t having to use as much discipline.

Enjoy letting the regrets go!