Monthly Archives: October 2019

Are You Focusing on Pain or Pleasure?

“The truth is we can learn to condition our minds, bodies & emotions, to link pain & pleasure to whatever we choose.  By changing what we link pain & pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviours.”  Tony Robbins.

While will power can take us down a path we want to go, there are easier ways to create what we want in our lives. For example, most of us associate dieting and exercising with feelings of deprivation, which makes a goal like losing weight seem like an endless uphill battle. If through hypnotherapy we reprogram the mind to associate positive feelings with the behaviours we want to maintain, it
becomes natural and even easy to fulfill our goals. Whenever we make choices and say ‘no’ to one thing, we are then available to say yes to something else – something that may be more in line with what you want, or that excites you. In other words it is linked to more pleasure. And the more we are seeing from neuroscientific research, the more we understand how much the mind has to do with repeating the old patterns or choosing some new ones.

Sometimes we are so busy listening to the negative messages in the brain, that have been going around & around, ‘like a cracked record,’ we don’t stop to listen to the messages coming from our body for example the heart and gut. The messages that say, stop being so unkind to yourself, the messages that tell us when we are feeling good instead of focusing on the ones that tell us we are feeling bad and the messages that help us focus on the pleasures of life rather than focusing on the pain. When we connect with the pleasure, the good feelings, we change the vibration that others are feeling from us. Here in New Zealand we have public holiday today to recognize those who fought to have our working week reduced and better treatment by our employers. Sounds like focusing on pleasure to me.

Enjoy pushing the pain into the shadow and focus on what feels good!

What is in Your Heart That Must Come Out?

“I have never thought of writing for the reputation and honour.  What I have in my heart must come out; that is the reason why I compose.”  Ludwig Van Beethoven

Beethoven started going deaf when he was 30 and lived until he was 57.  In his last decade of life he was completely deaf & although he stopped conducting and performing he continued to write some amazing music.  Imagine writing the wonderful music he did completely deaf, just putting down on paper what was inside him.  These days we would describe his connection to that inner drive as, “being in the zone.”

We hear of artists who learnt the Silva method of meditation so they could connect with the work that was inside them.  People like Wayne Dyer, who wrote some great books, say they have no conscious awareness of what they have written, that their message comes from inside to be expressed on the paper.  In fact there is a ‘coach’ from Hawaii who takes groups of people to teach them to write the books that they feel called to write. Some express themselves with their bodies.  I enjoy watching things like good gymnastics, ballroom dancing or ice dancing.  We all have that ability to make a connection with our inner knowing and then express that in a way that is of benefit to others.  There is a quote about not dying with the music still inside.  How do you like to express the ‘music’ inside you?

Enjoy expressing your passion!

Anger and Pain Can go Hand in Hand!

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.”  Eckhart Tolle

Most of my work is about emotions, in some form or other, that are causing us to feel discord in our body. Liza Palmer wrote another quote with similar sentiments that I have on my website homepage. “Angry is just sad’s body guard.” Whatever way it is put, the stronger emotions are usually stepping up to protect us in some way, perhaps trying to tell us something about not only what is going on right now, but where we may have experienced a similar situation in our life before, and this has created a pattern of how we react each time. Some people will say they don’t experience anger, but if they are really able to look at some of the things in their life that are upsetting, they may find they have learnt to swallow, or push down that reaction because society tells us that it is inappropriate to show anger.

Sometimes the anger is covering up for a fear that we feel, fear that we’re going to be cheated, that we’re going to fail, that we are not going to have the love we all need in our lives. If something wasn’t provided for us as children, we may fear our adult relationships are going to treat us the same way. So when a precious relationship looks like faltering, we immediately fear the loss we had as a child. As a child we may feel overwhelming powerlessness, helplessness or hopelessness at the hands of an adult and those feelings can stay stuck in our nervous system. The list is endless. Once we understand what is behind the anger we can learn how to deal with it by addressing those long held beliefs and fears.

Because the anger can be about these unmet needs, we could ask, “What is my anger telling me that I need?” Or we could ask, “Why am I angry? How can I deal with this differently, how can I respond differently?” Having that understanding can help us deal better with a behaviour that society condemns. We can then add shame and blame into the cauldron of negative emotions. This is not helpful, it does not take account of the fact that we are all human with emotions from both ends of the spectrum, with a history of experiences that have been less than empowering, but if we want to move forward we need to learn how to deal with them now as an adult, start taking responsibility to change our old patterns.

Enjoy loving the anger for what it is doing for you!