Monthly Archives: December 2019

Are You Chasing Elusive Happiness?

“Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without the need for anyone else’s approval.”  Anon

I went into my list of you people who receive my Rejuvenating Thoughts, to change an address. I was reminded how loyal you my readers are. I do want you to know that I appreciate that my work is being read. I hope we will continue our journey together into 2020. If I’m not careful I will be feeling happiness purely because I know my email to you each week is being seen. However, to my message below.

Is this what you felt on Xmas day, or was it conditional on someone being there or your grandchildren showing up, and let’s face it, there is nothing like grandchildren to pick up your spirits. Or did you go out and make your happiness by helping others less fortunate than yourself. We have a great tradition here in Dunedin where there is a big Xmas meal put on in the middle of the day in the Town Hall and it is manned by volunteers. I haven’t been here in the past and if I hadn’t had family, I think that is where I would like to be, although I believe they have more offers of help than they need.  I used to have that feeling in the hospital on Xmas or other holidays when people weren’t well enough to go home. It always seemed like the normal hustle and bustle of the hospital had slowed down, and we all had more time just to be with people even if it wasn’t actually for long.

What are some things you would like to be doing to feel good about yourself and the world, without needing others to supply that feel good factor? If we aren’t reliant on others to feel happy and it comes from within, we can be happy whenever we want. We don’t have to wait until someone else comes around with a bounce in their step. Have you learnt how you can help yourself, ‘up the energy of happiness for you and those around you?  We have only 2 days left of 2019 to reflect on what we did well this year, and what we feel we could have done better. Are we letting this cold wintery summer affect how we feel about ourselves and how we are showing up in the world? This isn’t about the judgement and negativity, more about the how can I be more responsible for my own happiness in the future. And with the new decade fast approaching it is a good time to be reflecting on not just what we want to do next year but also how we want to BE!

Enjoy feeling the happiness from within!

Can You See the King and the Pawn in Yourself?

“Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.” Anon

I don’t know anything about chess, but like any game, the results mean nothing in the scheme of things.  This was a big lesson for an old coach of mine who was playing monopoly with older family members.  Each time they pulled out the board she longed to win, to show them that she was worth taking notice of.  Then finally the day came when filled with excitement, she got to her goal.  But it was a very empty excitement when her mother called them for dinner & tipped the game back into a box.  What she learnt, it was just a game, that we need to let go of any attachment to the outcome as is the case in life.

However, the other lesson we can learn from this quote, is that within every shape or colour we are all the same.  No matter what we do in life whether the surgeon, the film star or the street sweeper, we are all the same.  We are all part of the universe like a cell of a body.  We all have a part to play, a strength that can benefit the whole.  So this other person who is either pushing your button or whom you admire, is just a reflection of yourself.  So take note where you might recognise the ‘king’ or ‘pawn’ in someone else & where you might find it in yourself.  This can be a helpful lesson.

Enjoy recognising the king or pawn in yourself!

Who Daydreams Any More?

“Decide…. whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying….”  Amelia Earhart

Do you know what your goals are? Have you done any planning around them?

Do you know there are 3 different types of goals!: the ones that you know you can accomplish because you know exactly what to do; secondly the ones you think you can do, like buying a house and the agent is there to help you; thirdly the real fantasy type ones that scare and excite you at the same time. If this last one really ignites your passion then that big WHY will take you past the hurdles of setbacks, discouragement and listening to the negative voices in your head. Because these big ideas light up a different part of the brain, we need to keep the goals separate from the big dreams or Aspirations that we have.The goals will be part of the strategic steps we take along the way.

I know you’ve probably been getting a ton of emails advising you to start now, pleading with you to take the next step and trying to put you into the mindset that you need their help. Research shows that if we write down our goals we have more likelihood of achieving them. But I read conflicting advice about whether we should consistently say them throughout the day, or once we have written them down and asked the universe to help we achieve them by staying in the right energy – you have done your bit as far as the metaphysical idea of asking is concerned  and you then shall receive. Either way, if you have faith that you can achieve this goal you are more likely to get there. So stop worrying about how that is going to happen! Apparently that is not our business. As we work on our ideas, the how will come to us and the path can seem easier to achieve than it had when we were worrying our day away.

Enjoy setting, planning and achieving your goals!

Intention Without Action is Useless!

“You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you’ll get to tomorrow.  Intention without action is useless.”  Caroline Myss

Think back to yesterday.  What was your intention to do with that day that would never come again?  Did you take action on your plans – even if that was to take time out to do something restful, relaxing and charging of the batteries?

Yes I know it can be overwhelming when we look at our to-do list even on a Sunday, so keep the intentions to a list that could be achieved in a day.  Then celebrate your achievements.

As well as intention of what we want to do, have you thought about how you want to ‘be’ in the day you have ahead of you?  And if so, do the 2 lists match up.  Are you happy, grateful and compassionate or are you so busy ‘doing’ that you don’t have time to smile or say hello to a stranger.

Enjoy living with intention and action!

Caroline Myss is a medical intuitive, prolific writer and international speaker with work that really makes you think.

Fear Can Paralyze You or Galvanize You Into Action, Which is it to Be?

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  Nelson Mandela

This is where my journey into Life Coaching started. Feeling fear for pretty much the first time. Yes I have felt fear before an exam or before stepping out on to the balance pole several metres above the ground – even though I had a harness on, but this was different. I was with a group of people who were feeling excited about the situation we were in. I asked if anyone else was feeling fear and they looked at me as though I was a bit strange. We are told that both excitement and fear produce the same hormones or chemicals in our body. But it is our perception of that feeling that links the word with it. I would wake with it each morning, have it hang around as a low-grade anxiety all day and then when I finally fell asleep I was no longer aware of it.

As I went through the process of learning to coach, I found some different tools and techniques to change my perception. The problem was, my Mum, bless her, didn’t want us to get disappointed about things that could be coming up, so she frequently said to us, “don’t get too excited it might never happen.” So I suppose I forgot how to feel excited. I can now, all beit a little more watered down than some. I’m still working on exercising the courage and excited muscles, and it feels so good when I am able to really feel that nervous energy with a sense that it is feels good not something to be fearful of. Real fear is there to keep us safe from danger. But often our brains think they are keeping us safe when really all that has happened is, we have had a thought about a situation that drags out past experiences and makes up wonderful stories that send us down the slippery slope of fear.

Enjoy feeling the courage to move through the fear!