Monthly Archives: January 2020

Are You Still Measuring Yourself Against Family Judgements?

“Don’t measure your progress using someone else’s ruler.”

Do you remember when you were at school and you got a report from the teacher? Sometimes this could be demoralising because we had been doing our best, but somehow it wasn’t enough to have registered as an upgrade in the teacher’s eyes. Other people don’t always know the battle going on inside of us and how hard we have to push to go through the terror barrier of the fear we are feeling just to turn up. It may take longer than we would like but gradually we can see signs of improvement. Of course it is so much easier if it is a physical thing like learning a new sport or learning to drive, everyone can see those tangible changes. But if it is something that is changing on the inside it may not be as obvious for others or ourselves.

Last year I had some coaching. Yes we coaches have to have coaching so that we can stay neutral and not get ‘triggered’ when a client behaves in a way that is uncomfortable for us. In coach speak, triggered just means to react to something that others don’t. These sessions were extras to a group programme we were doing. This is one time when I could measure my progress by the others who are used to notice triggering going on in themselves and others. Several noticed that I wasn’t being triggered as much as I had been at the start. I was letting things wash over me more. Although they had noticed, there wasn’t a sense of judgment one way or the other. I wasn’t being measured, it was an observation. If there are times when you feel out of step with others or the stress of a certain situation is ‘winding you up,’ you may consider getting some help from an impartial coach, who can guide you and give encouragement without a sense of being measured or judged. I offer a complimentary session so you can trial this coaching thing that sounds as though it could be a bit scary. Check out my contact details on the left side of this ‘newsletter.’

Enjoy noticing your own progress while ignoring the measurement of others!

Who do You See In the Mirror?

“Look in the mirror. That is your ONLY competition.”

In the past I have been guilty of seeing only the flaws, the things I don’t like about myself when I look in the mirror. Not long after I had first trained to be a coach I went to a weekend training where we had to look in the mirror & say, “I love you.” I really struggled to do that back then but after working  on myself and learning that each and every one of us is special, I can honestly look at myself and appreciate the person looking back at me. Yes I may still be carrying more weight than I would like, but that’s no reason to stop loving who I am at the core of me. A lot of what we think or feel is about the messages we have been given from our parents, our teachers, siblings and friends without them realising that we have come up with a completely different understanding than what was intended.

That competition the writer of this quote is talking about, is the story we are telling ourselves about who we think we are. If we don’t change that story or message we start to believe that voice. The voice that tells us we could do better, that we are not good enough or when are we going to sharpen up. So if I look in the mirror and only see the person the voice is talking about, the one that tells me I need to lose weight, that’s what I see. If however I change that recording to a more positive one, that tells me the positive things about who I am, I see those in the mirror. What are you seeing when you look in the mirror? Do you see the person you want to see, or the one you want to criticise and judge?

Enjoy loving the you, you see in the mirror!

This Year, Next Year, Sometime, Never!

“You will never have this day again, so make it count.”

I don’t know how many of you have written out your dreams, desires, goals or plans for the next 90 days, year, 5 years. Even if you haven’t written them and only thought about them, you have put that message out to the universe that these dreams are what you want in your life. Do you think this dream or these plans are worthy of you? Whatever you do any day of the year, you are giving up your life for. So think carefully, feel into whether your tasks in your business, your holiday plans or your JOB are making you feel expansive or whether they constrict you. I feel very blessed that I have had a career that I have loved. I love working with & relating to people who come in and out of my life.

People are my life blood. I feel happiest when I’m working with or relaxing with people. Even if I’m sitting here tapping away on the keyboard I am interacting with whoever is choosing to read what I have written that interaction also makes me feel expansive rather than constricted. It doesn’t feel like work. It may to some of you. You may prefer to be sitting reading a book or watching your favourite TV programme. Make no mistake though, whatever you are doing, you are giving up every single one of those minutes of your life for the choice you have made, so make it count as you will never get those minutes back again.

Enjoy feeling expansive!

What Are You Ordering Off the Menu of Life?

“Desire is the effort of the unexpressed possibility within you, attempting to express itself through you in physical form.” – Wallace D Wattles

New Year is a big time of desires coming to the front of our minds. As we get busy leading up to Xmas, a lot of us try to ignore the fact that we haven’t actually got a lot closer to our desires that we started with in the New Year. We were full of hope that this year was going to be different. But somehow life got in the way. We slowly drifted back into the ways that were familiar, away from trying something new. This metaphysical idea that our thoughts are just things, still in an abstract form, is something we may struggle with. We may still consider it Woo Woo to believe that we can change our reality just by focusing on different thoughts. Wallace D Wattles wrote the book “The Science of Getting Rich.” Of course we all think of rich as in, more money than we currently have, but he was meaning rich in the wider sense of the word and one of the chapters of this book was what the movie “The Secret,” was based on.

The Law of Attraction is always working whether we think we are connected or not. Just because you put in your order for something off the menu of life, does not mean the waitress is going to bring it to you, especially if you keep changing your mind or you’re not specific enough for the chef to fully understand your desires. Stay with this concept of ordering a meal for a minute. If you kept changing your order that the waitress took out to the kitchen, you can see that the chef might get a tad confused as to what exactly it is that you want to arrive on your plate.  This is what happens when we spend 5 minutes each morning focusing on our dream life, before hopping into the car to go to work. Before we even get there, someone has cut us off, the lights turn red and we’re conscious we really should have got out of bed earlier so that we could leave for work in better time. Those thoughts are the orders that are then going out into the kitchen of the universe. If the stressed thoughts, the negative thoughts or pessimistic thoughts are the dominant ones, that is what we attract because that is the order the chef is getting, day in and day out. So for that short 5 minutes of meditation in the morning the chef sits up and takes notice that something new is being ordered but unless it stays that way, the chef is going to continue to serve up what is your most common, focused order. And this is how we know what are predominant thoughts are, when we see what is being served up to us on a daily basis. So if you want that to change, you will need to change that regular order.

Enjoy starting the order change on New Year’s Eve.