“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Author unknown
Like my father I was born a worrier. My conscious mind knows it does me no good to use up my precious energy on worrying about things that may never happen – see the cartoon. Why live in a stressful future before we have to! Worry also pumps up the stress hormones and we make up more stories built on thoughts beliefs and memories. At the moment worry is a predominant baseline emotion for a lot of people!
However I have been conditioned since a young girl. We may have got the message that we look important if we have a lot of problems. Or that we like the drama & don’t have enough without worrying. Being addicted to adrenaline could be seen as a way to fulfill the human need of excitement – not a very healthy way to get it, but drama could fuel that need. Or we simply may have no idea, it’s just the lessons we were given that worrying is the behaviour of choice.
So I’m constantly using all the tools I have learnt over the years such as replacing the worry thoughts that are disempowering with more empowering ones; use the what if phrase in a more positive sense thinking about the things that could go right; do some mindful deep breathing which brings us back from the future to the present; and do this crazy thing called meridian tapping that you may have heard about. Whatever it is that works for you, I suggest you get yourself off the worry rocking chair & do something that keeps you in the present.
Enjoy deactivating the worry button!
“Happiness is contagious. Start an epidemic today!” – Anon
Being happy is a choice. If we wait for outside circumstances to make us happy we may be waiting for a long time. If we choose to be happy no matter what, we will attract people to us who will appreciate being around a positive happy person. Think about who you would rather be with – a grumpy judgmental person or a happy person, full of possibilities? And at this time in history we could choose to be fearful especially if we listen to everything the media is churning out about the pandemic!
Have you heard of being mindful? This is being 100% in the moment of what you are doing. Not nodding at your child as they tell you about their school adventures, while your mind is thinking about other things. Not going for a lovely walk along the beach or other nature habitats, but completely oblivious to the screech of the gulls or the cheep of the fantail, because other things are occupying your mind. Choose to be happy in this very moment regardless of circumstances.
We can’t be happy in the past, it’s been and gone (we can remember an event that brings a smile to our lips.) We can’t be happy in the future because it’s not here yet (we can visualize happiness at some time ahead of us.) But why not try being happy for no reason, right now & now & now!
Put a smile on your face and others will start wondering what you are up to, or want what you’ve got. It’s hard not to smile when someone else smiles at you. It uses less muscles and the feel good chemicals are released which can only be good for your health. The fear being spread around at the moment winds up the stress centre and cortisol is pumped out, making it so much harder to feel any happiness which in turn affects our immune system. So let’s all work on spreading the happiness pandemic, it could be contagious!
Enjoy smiling and choosing to be HAPPY!
Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.” Robert Schuller (Pastor, Motivational Speaker & Author)
The Olympics or Commonwealth Games attract large groups of people from all over the world who spend countless hours watching the skill of people who have a passion for the sport they’re involved in. These athletes are prepared to spend a huge chunk of their lives practising & perfecting their sport to a point where they can at the very least, gain entry to race or play against others in their chosen sport. This level of skill that we may marvel at doesn’t happen overnight. We all know that they’ve probably had to give up something else in pursuit of the excellence they are going to need to achieve their goal. This is called the Law of Sacrifice. In his book, “Working with the Law,” Raymond Holliwell says, “Something always has to be sacrificed for something else.” Even if you consider something as simple as watching a programme on TV, there are other channels we could watch, there are programmes like Netflix or you tube. We could choose not to watch at all and go out for a walk.
It is all about the choices we make in life. We all have the same number of minutes in a day so how are you choosing to spend your minutes? We often label success as the financial achievement, or being recognised in our external environment. However, some will consider the progress they have made with their internal environment as being more of a successful milestone. Stepping up to the mark, may actually be the spectacular achievement for some, the milestones they have reached internally that generate the confidence to partake in the sport called life. Too often we are hearing of those who have found the going too tough, who have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice, who haven’t felt safe enough to put in the preparation to be the person they want to be. What is the achievement your internal guidance system is nudging you towards? When will ‘now’ be the right time to start taking the preparation steps towards that achievement?
Enjoy your preparation!
“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.”
We’re told the probability of how many millions of sperm fight to fertilise an egg and therefore how special and unique we are. Apparently there is no one else in the world like us and I haven’t the time to bother trying to dispute that. We may have physical characteristics and ways of behaving that are like other family members but ultimately none of them are exactly like YOU. Knowing that to be true can be a catalyst to utilise the talents you have and make a difference in the world. It doesn’t have to be like the first person to fly to the moon or create Virgin airlines. But even as a parent we can chose to bring our children up with certain beliefs that ultimately help them reach their potential and recognise their own uniqueness.
Neuroscientist, Mark Waldman says, “Feeling that your life is meaningful is an essential component for happiness, well-being & life-satisfaction. When there’s a global threat like this pandemic – our perspective about what the future may hold can challenge our core beliefs about everything.” All this uncertainty can stir up the anxiety, worry & fear. What if it was an opportunity to do something we have dreamed about for a long time?
Looking into someone else’s life from the outside may look appealing. We may think they are achieving something we are not. For whatever reason we may strive to be like them and in so doing neglect the talents and skills we have to offer the world. For some people it can feel uncomfortable to step outside the crowd, be the tall poppy that we love to hate in New Zealand. To neglect to live our purpose can cause us to feel unhappy or even ill. This uniqueness will continue until the day we die. Don’t allow the fears you have, stop you from being that unique being you came into the world to be, so you die with all your dreams and desires fulfilled as unique as you were when you were born.
Enjoy being YOU!