Monthly Archives: March 2021

Aare You Using Your Memories to Best Advantage for You?

“I use memories, but I do not allow memories to use me.”  Lord Shiva

I found this quote on the ‘Tapping Solution’ app. They are about to run a challenge called, “You Are Enough.” I have used EFT or Meridian Tapping since I started on this coaching journey. It was what an energy healer used with me when I went to her for help when I was feeling so low, anxious & fearful. So this turn-around is a memory that I want to keep & use over and over. I want to remember how helpful it was when I was feeling so stuck.

We all have patterns of behaviour in response to what is coming up inside of us. We created these strategies when we were very young & they were all about keeping us safe. Every hurt, no matter how big or small, creates a strategy to cope with life. Strategies are resources that serve us in survival times. They are needed and allow us to survive. However as we get older and no longer in that survival experience these strategies or patterns are no longer needed. We don’t want those memories to ‘use’ us and create the patterns that we repeat over and over. We can however use them, to remind us that we don’t need those specific behaviours any more.

As an adult we don’t always realise that it is these strategies developed as a child that are driving all our behaviours and ways of being. Now that the scientific world has found that our brains are not static as once thought, but that they are plastic, in other words mouldable, we can choose to make the changes to those strategies that we want. This is where Tapping can come in – it is just one technique that people find helpful and because I am one of them I may use it with my clients as needed. If this challenge sounds like something that appeals, google The Tapping Solution challenge.

Enjoy changing those habits of a lifetime!

Stress or Passion, What is it to Be?

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.” Simon Sinek

I was watching a very short video clip of Simon Sinek being interviewed. This quote touched on a subject that is dear to my heart.

Yea yea I hear ya. Stress is a boring subject!! YES it bores into your very being. It stops your health in its tracks. It stops your weight loss in its tracks. And if it goes on long enough, it will stop you in your tracks!

The worst thing is we don’t always know what is causing our stress, because it doesn’t have to be a major deal!  It can be insidious day to day happenings, leaving us feeling anxious and we don’t always understand why.

But you know what one of the worst stressors for a lot of us is? The lies we tell ourselves over and over. That we’re not good enough, that we don’t have what it takes, that we’re too young, too old too….. fill in the blank. The great thing about this is, we are the ones responsible for doing that, so we are the ones who can be responsible for changing it. What can you do today to change 1 little thing?

One small thing I did, was to change what I eat for breakfast each day – according to what my biology needs to reduce one form of stress.

Enjoy listening to what your body needs!

What Does Success Look Like to You?

“Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to.”

Not sure whose quote this is, but if we look at the writing of Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich,” he has a whole chapter devoted to Persistence. I know it isn’t quite the same as ‘determined,’ but you certainly have to have persistence to succeed at whatever you want, especially when there are setbacks. Some might argue that we are all destined to succeed at something but it doesn’t matter whether we are simply destined or determined, there still has to be some sort of belief that you have what it takes to get there and you take the necessary inspired action to get you over the line.

Hill also talks about the ‘Decision’ part of the process. Some of us choose to put one step in front of the other without querying whether we are living our purpose or not. This in itself is a decision. However there are others who make the decision to step outside what they have been doing, because there is something calling them to do something different.

The word success then comes into question. What does success look like to you? We may all have a different concept of what success looks like. It may be to be a good parent. It may be to achieve something we have been trying to do for a while & we finally crack it. Today, I finally cleaned my car after months of seeing that it needed it, but doing nothing about it – I call that success as well. Unfortunately, there is so much written that leads us to believe that we can only consider ourselves successful when we’ve hit the big time, & get national or even international acclaim.

Only you can know whether you are destined or determined and indeed whether you are successful.

Enjoy taking the journey towards your established success!

“Patience is a Virtue” – What Does that Mean?

“The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”  Henri J. M Nouwen

I have often said that I was put on this earth to learn patience. It has not been a strong point for me. My HealthType® causes me to make quick decisions in fact, do everything quickly. This has been sorely tested over the past week in particular, with some stuff going on in my wider family. I had to talk to myself regularly to, “Let go and step back from the situation.”

In the end the outcome I thought should happen, did, and now this family member is ecstatic about the outcome. But it is his life and he had to see the way for himself, hard and all as it is standing by. As frustrating as it was to see the decision struggle, ultimately, I couldn’t make it for him and actually didn’t want to as there were risks involved and if the outcome hadn’t been as good as it is I might have regretted encouraging him.

So now I personally have to continue on my journey, focusing on the Letting go of the control I think I have over certain outcomes. I don’t. None of us do, but there is a paradox in the Law of Attraction. We can put out our desires to the universe but then we have to let go of the attachment to that outcome.

Patience dear friends, patience, to let life unfold in its own Divine timing!

That can be difficult in this time of the instant everything. Our beliefs play a huge part & attached to those, are the words we use to ourselves & to the world, reinforcing the understanding of what we think we deserve, what we were told as children or how we were treated, that have created those beliefs in the first place. That story of our past never has to continue. We can write the future the way we want if we believe we can. This is where the patience comes in to keep putting one foot in front of the other towards the life we want & hold on to the belief that it can & will happen as long as we don’t keep thinking about the negatives of our situation.

Enjoy being patient in the face of adversity!

Are You Happy to be Imperfect?

“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”   David M. Burns

Years ago I tried a couple of business projects that didn’t turn out that well. I felt like a failure and that’s when I became unwell. As the author says I was definitely behaving in a perfectionistic way with expectations of myself that were quite unrealistic.  Now I look back I realize I really hadn’t acknowledged how much time and effort had gone into my previous schooling and learning. I expected that I would be at the same level of expertise in a completely different venture straight away. By working hard in the past I had got there but my ideas of doing everything perfectly, let me down. Of course hindsight has also helped me to see, that ‘failing’ was really just a pivot point to start the coaching that I have loved.

It took a while for the recovering perfectionist in me to accept, that I am allowed to be human like everyone else on the planet. We all know it’s not pleasant to be judged by others, and it is often this that makes us fearful of trying new things or being comfortable to ‘fail.’ This can depend on the expectations of us when youngsters. We may grow up thinking that things have to be done a certain way, when in fact others around us don’t have those same rules. As adults we take over the judgement of ourselves. Once we let go of the need to do things perfectly, the stress hormones in our brain calm down, allowing the executive brain to function in a more productive way. And paradoxically we are already perfect anyway!

Enjoy being a perfectly imperfect human!