“Change occurs when one becomes what she is, not when she tries to become what she is not.” Ruth P Freedman
It’s interesting that the person who wrote this quote used the term, ‘she.’ I know her name would suggest that life would be seen through the eyes of the feminine, so I understand that. Over the years I have grown up to hear the masculine in generalized comments. The feminine made me sit up and look at this quote differently. I have just spent the weekend teaching a class of women how to extend their acupuncture knowledge into the field of cosmetics. When I started this it was of interest value, but because it didn’t feel like the medical background that I was in, it felt a bit frivolous and that we were buying into that narrative that we need to look a certain way. However, fairly early on, I had a client who helped me see how much this form of ‘treatment’ was as important as psychotherapy.
We may decry the ‘beauty’ industry, we may think it’s shameful & even sad that women are being encouraged to believe that the way they look on the outer surface is so important. Of all the busy professional women on my course over the weekend all of them admitted they don’t make enough time for themselves. They loved the opportunity to be the one who was being nurtured, even if for such a short time. Yes they all had some improvement on how they looked after their 2 sessions, but the underlying experience was the relaxation and sense of wellbeing that came through. If we don’t have some sort of practice that we do regularly, we start to run on empty. Some choose massage, some go to the gym, while others might sit with friends over a lovely meal. We are all unique and how we want to fill our cup up will vary. Some of that is our biology and some of that is the environment we have been brought up in. The ‘skin deep’ approach can be looked down on by some. I ask you to think about how we can all be the person inside if we feel better about the person we are and not judge ourselves because we are having a facial, spending a lot of time on exercise or eating food that we know isn’t necessarily good for us. All these ‘addictions’ we are told, are because of the past experiences and therefore our beliefs about ourselves.
Enjoy doing what feels good (as long as it’s not harming others)
“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” Les Brown
For those of you who haven’t seen or heard of Les Brown, I invite you to look him up on you tube. He is a very powerful motivational speaker who was brought up by a woman who took children in to care for them. She worked in homes of the rich to get enough food on the table and clothes for these children to wear. Some of the homes gave her left over food and clothes knowing what she was doing. Les had to go out of his normal classroom regularly for special/extra tuition. One day he had a locum teacher who wanted to know why he was leaving the classroom. Les said he was going to special work because he was ineducable. The teacher then said the words of this quote and continued to support this young coloured boy to reach his potential.
I had the pleasure of being at a training in the states where there were possibly 100 in the room and I was at a table in the front. As Les paced backwards and forwards in front of us explaining the techniques of speaking, he suddenly stopped at our table and thumped his hand down as he said, “On your deathbed, do you want your dreams and desires to come around and say, we came to you , for life and now we must die with you.”
This was an incredibly emotional moment for me – a moment of looking at the opportunities that I had and hadn’t taken on, throughout my life to that point. If you were asked that same question, what do you think your response would be? We can all remember things we have done we haven’t been proud of and at the same time feel we can celebrate other things. Life is about growing to the potential that each and every one of has. What are you doing to become the person you know is more like the potential you think is in there? Where are you turning away, when those opportunities pop up? Where are you getting in the way of your own potential? We are at a very pivotal moment in history. A time to reflect on what could we be doing to leave a legacy.
Enjoy reflecting on your life!
“If you are dedicated to your growth, then you must become committed to managing your bad experiences as well.” John Maxwell
Most of us on a conscious growth path are aware of certain things we think we need to do. And by conscious in this instance, I’m meaning by design as opposed to by default. Are we making a conscious decision to eat better so that our health improves, are we exercising, even if that means a walk around the block, are we getting enough sleep. And this last one is huge for our growth in the sense of the cell repair etc that goes on in the hours of lying horizontal and getting our brain into the right wave patterns. I have heard, over the years, that the sleep you have before midnight, is the most important. That may be true for some biological types and not so true for others. For some going to bed early and getting up early can stress their biology which then makes it hard for their systems to function optimally. But for others going to bed early and getting up with the birds to go to the gym, is absolutely the best thing for their biology.
But I digress, that is not where I had intended to go with this. We might look around and see people who are successful and not see the drama and setbacks they have had to get there. Recently I was introduced to an image of 2 people underground digging with their pick axes. One had turned back and obviously given up with a thin piece of ground between him and his goal. The other was still digging with obvious enthusiasm and one assumes that he is going to keep going until he gets to his goal. Which one you are could possibly be determined by the passion you have for what you are doing and the WHY behind what you are aiming to achieve. Do you know where you want to grow, who you need to be to get to your desired place, or what the actions are that you need to take to make that happen? The Law of Attraction is a big part of anything we do, and we also need to take inspired action to be the person we want to become in order to achieve our desired outcome. Obstacles may only be a test of how much we really want to grow in a particular way. They may be a way of diverting your energy to change direction even just a few degrees!
Enjoy growing, you may be closer to your dreams than you thought!