Are You Trying to be SomeoneYou Are Not?



“Change occurs when one becomes what she is, not when she tries to become what she is not.”  Ruth P Freedman

It’s interesting that the person who wrote this quote used the term, ‘she.’ I know her name would suggest that life would be seen through the eyes of the feminine, so I understand that. Over the years I have grown up to hear the masculine in generalized comments. The feminine made me sit up and look at this quote differently. I have just spent the weekend teaching a class of women how to extend their acupuncture knowledge into the field of cosmetics. When I started this it was of interest value, but because it didn’t feel like the medical background that I was in, it felt a bit frivolous and that we were buying into that narrative that we need to look a certain way. However, fairly early on, I had a client who helped me see how much this form of ‘treatment’ was as important as psychotherapy.

We may decry the ‘beauty’ industry, we may think it’s shameful & even sad that women are being encouraged to believe that the way they look on the outer surface is so important. Of all the busy professional women on my course over the weekend all of them admitted they don’t make enough time for themselves. They loved the opportunity to be the one who was being nurtured, even if for such a short time. Yes they all had some improvement on how they looked after their 2 sessions, but the underlying experience was the relaxation and sense of wellbeing that came through. If we don’t have some sort of practice that we do regularly, we start to run on empty. Some choose massage, some go to the gym, while others might sit with friends over a lovely meal. We are all unique and how we want to fill our cup up will vary. Some of that is our biology and some of that is the environment we have been brought up in. The ‘skin deep’ approach can be looked down on by some. I ask you to think about how we can all be the person inside if we feel better about the person we are and not judge ourselves because we are having a facial, spending a lot of time on exercise or eating food that we know isn’t necessarily good for us. All these ‘addictions’ we are told, are because of the past experiences and therefore our beliefs about ourselves.

Enjoy doing what feels good (as long as it’s not harming others)

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