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Do you want to flat line?

“If there are no ups and downs in your life, it means you are dead.”

A few years ago I was doing a trek in Nepal, and on the first day we were walking along the valley floor and the guide pointed upwards and said, “That’s where we are staying tonight.”  My heart sank, to see the height of the hill/mountain we had to climb.  But there was no alternative and we had chosen this particular route so that we could see the sunrise from the ‘top of the world,’ the next morning.   And what an experience that was, with hundreds of others from all parts of the world, joined with one common exciting purpose.  So the contrast was amazing! Yes it would have been easier to just walk along a flat path, but we would never have had that fantastic experience.

Life is also like that.  How do we get the contrast of light and shadow, of good times and ‘bad,’ if we only ever have one basic experience?  Life would become monotonous.  The rich tapestry of special moments wouldn’t be treasured, if we didn’t have some challenges to gives us the contrast.  Maybe even some pride in ourselves when we have overcome something that perhaps we didn’t know we could do.  It takes acceptance of both the good points we have and the points we would rather hide, to make us who we are and what we have to offer the world.

Enjoy staying alive with both the ups and downs in your life!   Robyn

Do You Listen to the Negative Naysayers?

“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”   Les Brown

For those of you who haven’t seen or heard of Les Brown, I invite you to look him up on you tube. He is a very powerful motivational speaker who was brought up by a woman who took children in to care for them. She worked in homes of the rich to get enough food on the table and clothes for these children to wear. Some of the homes gave her left over food and clothes knowing what she was doing. Les had to go out of his normal classroom regularly for special/extra tuition. One day he had a locum teacher who wanted to know why he was leaving the classroom. Les said he was going to special work because he was ineducable. The teacher then said the words of this quote and continued to support this young coloured boy to reach his potential.

I had the pleasure of being at a training in the states where there were possibly 100 in the room and I was at a table in the front. As Les paced backwards and forwards in front of us explaining the techniques of speaking, he suddenly stopped at our table and thumped his hand down as he said, “On your deathbed, do you want your dreams and desires to come around and say, we came to you , for life and now we must die with you.”

This was an incredibly emotional moment for me – a moment of looking at the opportunities that I had and hadn’t taken on, throughout my life to that point. If you were asked that same question, what do you think your response would be? We can all remember things we have done we haven’t been proud of and at the same time feel we can celebrate other things. Life is about growing to the potential that each and every one of has. What are you doing to become the person you know is more like the potential you think is in there? Where are you turning away, when those opportunities pop up? Where are you getting in the way of your own potential? We are at a very pivotal moment in history. A time to reflect on what could we be doing to leave a legacy.

Enjoy reflecting on your life!

Are You Growing or Stagnating?

“If you are dedicated to your growth, then you must become committed to managing your bad experiences as well.”   John Maxwell

Most of us on a conscious growth path are aware of certain things we think we need to do. And by conscious in this instance, I’m meaning by design as opposed to by default. Are we making a conscious decision to eat better so that our health improves, are we exercising, even if that means a walk around the block, are we getting enough sleep. And this last one is huge for our growth in the sense of the cell repair etc that goes on in the hours of lying horizontal and getting our brain into the right wave patterns. I have heard, over the years, that the sleep you have before midnight, is the most important. That may be true for some biological types and not so true for others. For some going to bed early and getting up early can stress their biology which then makes it hard for their systems to function optimally. But for others going to bed early and getting up with the birds to go to the gym, is absolutely the best thing for their biology.

But I digress, that is not where I had intended to go with this. We might look around and see people who are successful and not see the drama and setbacks they have had to get there. Recently I was introduced to an image of 2 people underground digging with their pick axes. One had turned back and obviously given up with a thin piece of ground between him and his goal. The other was still digging with obvious enthusiasm and one assumes that he is going to keep going until he gets to his goal. Which one you are could possibly be determined by the passion you have for what you are doing and the WHY behind what you are aiming to achieve. Do you know where you want to grow, who you need to be to get to your desired place, or what the actions are that you need to take to make that happen? The Law of Attraction is a big part of anything we do, and we also need to take inspired action to be the person we want to become in order to achieve our desired outcome. Obstacles may only be a test of how much we really want to grow in a particular way. They may be a way of diverting your energy to change direction even just a few degrees!

Enjoy growing, you may be closer to your dreams than you thought!

What Do You Suck At?

“I just give myself permission to suck….I find this hugely liberating.”  John Green

I wanted to find a quote about anxiety to support mental health awareness month, although it could now be over. Whether the stresses of life appear to be external or not, the internal perception has a big part to play in how we react to those stressors. We may allow ourselves to be miserable about something that happened in the past that we wish we could do again. We may look forward to a future that looks bleak and want to control the outcome so that things feel better. Whichever way we look if it’s not focused on the present then we have no way of tuning into how we are feeling in the moment and therefore how we might change it if we don’t like what we are feeling.

Choice has a big part to play in how we are feeling. We can wind up our reaction to the ‘triggers’ of someone else’s comments or behaviour, or we can choose a different perspective that makes us feel much better about ourselves. Just like the author of this quote. For those of us invested in putting on a front to the world that we have it all together, it may be hard to own up to the fact that actually there are some things that we suck at. When we can accept that part of us & love that part, it can take a big load off the mind and emotions. It takes a lot of energy to keep those realities hidden. When we can authentically let down the barriers and walls, there is nothing left to hide so no fear of being found out and it can free us from the anxiety that has been plaguing us.

Enjoy giving yourself the permission to suck!

Are You Living in the Present Moment?

“If we cling to the idea of hope in the future, we might not notice the peace and joy that are available in the present moment. The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

In New Zealand we have a public holiday today to respect the New Zealanders who fought in the World Wars for a future that many of them never got to live. But it has been a future that we have been able to enjoy. While we are in the peace and joy of our moments we are putting out an energetic frequency that affects the whole world, so what better time than right now, to do as much of that as we can, to affect the outcome for the future of our world.

Now more than ever we need to show love for ourselves and those around us so that will beam out into the universe. We will all benefit right now and that light energy will lift the world into a higher vibration. If you are interested in understanding more of this concept, David Hawkins wrote a book, “Power vs Force,” that you may enjoy. When I pulled out the book to make sure I was correct about the title & spelling of his name I read the ‘comments’ on the back cover. Mother Theresa said, “A beautiful gift of writing….You spread joy, love and compassion through what you write. The fruit of these three is peace as you know.”

Let us all enjoy living peace and joy in our moments!

What Are Your Intentions For This Special Day?

“You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you’ll get to tomorrow.  Intention without action is useless.”  Caroline Myss

Think back to yesterday.  What was your intention to do with that day that would never come again?  Did you take action on your plans – even if that was to take time out to do something restful, relaxing and charging of the batteries?

Yes I know it can be overwhelming when we look at our to-do list even on a Sunday, so keep the intentions to a list that could be achieved in a day.  Then celebrate your achievements.

As well as intention of what we want to do, have you thought about how you want to ‘be’ in the day you have ahead of you?  And if so, do the 2 lists match up.  Are you happy, grateful and compassionate or are you so busy ‘doing’ that you don’t have time to smile or say hello to a stranger. I’m amazed at the number of people who don’t even have the energy or inclination to smile at me when I say hello as I pass on my walk around the streets or on the beach.

I recently did a short challenge type course that talked about ‘segment intending.’ This meant breaking the day up and having positive intentions with each block as opposed to a generalized intention for the day.

Enjoy living with intention and action!

Caroline Myss is a medical intuitive, prolific writer and international speaker with work that really makes you think.

Are Your Habits Ruling Your Life?

“Habits are safer than rules, you don’t have to watch them. And you don’t have to keep them either…. They keep you.” 

Are your habits keeping you?

I am in the midst of preparing a Mater Class that I will run at the end of the month. In that I mention habits or patterns of behaviour that are being driven by our subconscious minds. Sometimes it is a behaviour we have been taught by our parents & we actually don’t realise that there is in fact another way to do things. I found this out when I yelled at a teacher & felt the shame of exhibiting a behaviour that was not allowed in our house. Only to find our years later that the teacher just accepted it as behaviour from a little person having to learn how to manage her emotions.  She didn’t regard it as shameful. We can also have habits we develop to protect ourselves & really we don’t need them anymore.

We can have habits that we are happy to keep, and there are some that we really want to let go of but the conscious mind isn’t strong enough to ‘muscle’ it out. Like smoking or wanting to lose weight, the subconscious wins a lot of the time. So we have to be sneaky to slip under the radar so to speak. When I first started doing my coaching training we had to look at a list of limiting beliefs and pick one that resonated. It was then suggested that that we just say the opposite. “No way.” said my subconscious, “I don’t believe one piece of that.” Later I learnt a tapping technique, to go ‘grey’ rather than black or white, by saying I choose to believe….. It’s not such absolute language & somehow it tricks the subconscious. Often we feel pleased we have got the upper hand on that one, then something else crops up, or something big triggers us again. This is apparently lifetime work folks – if you come to coaching I don’t expect you to come for life. We can learn skills that we practice going forward.

Enjoy changing those habits that you don’t want to keep you anymore!

With the Easter Break, did You Find Time to Dream?

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”  Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Have you a vision of who you would like to be or a life you would like to have?  This is more than a goal.  A goal could be to clean out the garage on a rainy day, hardly something inspiring for your life.  But that goal could be a step along the way to reaching the vision of how you see your life.

Just as we have been taught to write our goals in the present tense, we can write our vision as though we are living it right now.  The subconscious doesn’t have a concept of the future, it accepts the instructions as though you are living your dream in the present.

As you build this picture with words or as some do, a vision board of images that represent your dream life, remember some questions that need to be asked.

Is this dream worthy of me, do I want to give up my life for trying to achieve it.

Does my dream make me feel alive?  If not you will give up at the first hurdle.

Is it in line with my core values, do you know what they are?  You certainly won’t achieve something that doesn’t line up with what you believe about life.

Is this dream going to require me to grow?  Everything in nature is growing all the time.  It won’t stimulate us if we’re not growing.

Do I need help from a higher power?  Whether that be from another human being or whether you need intuitive guidance.

Is there some good in my dream for others?  A beautiful garden can be a real sense of joy for people walking by.

You need to answer ‘YES’ to all these questions.  If not you may need to go back to the drawing board and work out where the changes need to be made for you to grow into your vision.

Enjoy constructing your life!

Aare You Using Your Memories to Best Advantage for You?

“I use memories, but I do not allow memories to use me.”  Lord Shiva

I found this quote on the ‘Tapping Solution’ app. They are about to run a challenge called, “You Are Enough.” I have used EFT or Meridian Tapping since I started on this coaching journey. It was what an energy healer used with me when I went to her for help when I was feeling so low, anxious & fearful. So this turn-around is a memory that I want to keep & use over and over. I want to remember how helpful it was when I was feeling so stuck.

We all have patterns of behaviour in response to what is coming up inside of us. We created these strategies when we were very young & they were all about keeping us safe. Every hurt, no matter how big or small, creates a strategy to cope with life. Strategies are resources that serve us in survival times. They are needed and allow us to survive. However as we get older and no longer in that survival experience these strategies or patterns are no longer needed. We don’t want those memories to ‘use’ us and create the patterns that we repeat over and over. We can however use them, to remind us that we don’t need those specific behaviours any more.

As an adult we don’t always realise that it is these strategies developed as a child that are driving all our behaviours and ways of being. Now that the scientific world has found that our brains are not static as once thought, but that they are plastic, in other words mouldable, we can choose to make the changes to those strategies that we want. This is where Tapping can come in – it is just one technique that people find helpful and because I am one of them I may use it with my clients as needed. If this challenge sounds like something that appeals, google The Tapping Solution challenge.

Enjoy changing those habits of a lifetime!

Stress or Passion, What is it to Be?

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.” Simon Sinek

I was watching a very short video clip of Simon Sinek being interviewed. This quote touched on a subject that is dear to my heart.

Yea yea I hear ya. Stress is a boring subject!! YES it bores into your very being. It stops your health in its tracks. It stops your weight loss in its tracks. And if it goes on long enough, it will stop you in your tracks!

The worst thing is we don’t always know what is causing our stress, because it doesn’t have to be a major deal!  It can be insidious day to day happenings, leaving us feeling anxious and we don’t always understand why.

But you know what one of the worst stressors for a lot of us is? The lies we tell ourselves over and over. That we’re not good enough, that we don’t have what it takes, that we’re too young, too old too….. fill in the blank. The great thing about this is, we are the ones responsible for doing that, so we are the ones who can be responsible for changing it. What can you do today to change 1 little thing?

One small thing I did, was to change what I eat for breakfast each day – according to what my biology needs to reduce one form of stress.

Enjoy listening to what your body needs!

What Does Success Look Like to You?

“Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to.”

Not sure whose quote this is, but if we look at the writing of Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich,” he has a whole chapter devoted to Persistence. I know it isn’t quite the same as ‘determined,’ but you certainly have to have persistence to succeed at whatever you want, especially when there are setbacks. Some might argue that we are all destined to succeed at something but it doesn’t matter whether we are simply destined or determined, there still has to be some sort of belief that you have what it takes to get there and you take the necessary inspired action to get you over the line.

Hill also talks about the ‘Decision’ part of the process. Some of us choose to put one step in front of the other without querying whether we are living our purpose or not. This in itself is a decision. However there are others who make the decision to step outside what they have been doing, because there is something calling them to do something different.

The word success then comes into question. What does success look like to you? We may all have a different concept of what success looks like. It may be to be a good parent. It may be to achieve something we have been trying to do for a while & we finally crack it. Today, I finally cleaned my car after months of seeing that it needed it, but doing nothing about it – I call that success as well. Unfortunately, there is so much written that leads us to believe that we can only consider ourselves successful when we’ve hit the big time, & get national or even international acclaim.

Only you can know whether you are destined or determined and indeed whether you are successful.

Enjoy taking the journey towards your established success!